Saturday, October 17, 2009

a bit private.........but what the heck

Monday...10 am......Gynecologic appointment for a scan on my ovaries.
I found an MD , 4 days ago and she found a mass....just great ! *sigh*

But I am not surprised.......16 months menopaused ( very- very early ) ,...and now blood loss...fatigue...depression...horrible back pain..and pelvic pains.
Something was wrong.......we gals know it...right ?

Last month.......fever for 2- 3 days.......without any other symptoms .......( though it was a flu )....I was sure
a truck had run over me overnight.

I kept this to myself.....for over a week........but asked some online friends about these symptoms.
First about the abnormal blood loss..than another freind....... for maybe a small depression...I did not
put the 2 together I think.

I think that maybe the small depression is 100% part of this.......I cried when my son called me tonight....for no reason.......WTF ?
This is NOT me.....I feel like someone else is inside me......I feel like crap and I want her out....fast !

I do admit I am a wee bit stressed out.....but at the same time I want & need to know.
I can deal with what ever it is..as long as I know what it is.

Maybe this came or was scheduled at a time that I can not paint.......the future is always written for us in a way..and it is time to take care of myself.

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