Saturday, March 10, 2012

trying to keep my head up

I admit I am getting a bit discouraged.
Although I am trying very hard to keep painting and promoting myself on a 580 $ monthly income...this is getting all the energy I have left out of me.

I try to push the doors open...only to get them slammed in my face.

Why is it when you are down......people ( unconsciously ) make it worst.?
What I mean by down.....I mean that you are struggling...for everyday things...paying for food, your rent....and if there is something left supplies.

I did my taxes this week and to my astonishment I owe 100 $ for a new Quebec tax ( mandatory ) for Health.
Gezzzz.....I gained 7,500 $ this year ( workman's compensation, that is supposed to be non taxable ).......100 $ is not a lot your thinking.......but to me this was sort of driving the nail in more.

I still give for causes that are close to my is in me....a 20$ or 10$ will not disrupt my life at this point.I just chose more carefully.

I rather give painting to causes....part of myself is in is just money...but ART stays and maybe will bring some joy for years to someone.

I try to keep positive...but I guess my inner feelings must transpire out to I do not go out anymore.

I have been invited to sevral symposiums....and expositions. It is very flattering....but THESE all charge you money. Anywhere from 40 $ to 200$.and they are all over the Provence.
I do not have a car....nor the funds to stay over the weekend paying a hotel room..picking up my stand each nigh by foot.

If you turn down these invitations..they treat you like you are not serious about your the next time get left out.

I know I am NOT the only artist in this situation. I think the world has lost many talented artists that pursued their passion to the end of financial rupture. Only now , can I start to feel the emotional death of an inner passion.

I am now pushing to the limit the promotion part, with the help of a press agent ( a 10 year friendship with this person ) who, for now is not charging me anything.

This sounds allover discouraging...maybe yes.....maybe no.
Is there a lesson or reason I am living this ? Maybe yes....maybe no.

I am still keeping my head up..and will continue to nurture my passion .


Unknown said...

Lucie...I so hear what you are saying!! I think we are in similar places. I wish we lived closer, and maybe we could help each other...sigh. But consider yourself hugged and understood!!

Lucie Theroux said...

Thank you Susan...:)
As I was many artists get discouraged being withheld financially. I belive we have it worth it ? I believe so...:) Hang on Susan..I certainly am ! :) :)